Saturday, October 17, 2009

One week old.

Last week at this time I was just getting my epidural. I can't believe my Mia is already a week old, it made me cry last night. She already looks so different, growing more and more into her little tiny features everyday. I just wish I could freeze time, I don't want her to get any bigger. I didn't think it was possible to love anybody more than I loved Javier. But the moment they put her on my chest, the world stopped and it was just me and Mia.

I hope I will never forget that moment. I hope to cherish that moment everyday, for the rest of my life. I really wish Javier was here to see all of this. It's so exciting, and I can't imagine how it feels to be in his shoes. Having a newborn half way across the country. I pray everyday for him to someday see the light, so he can get better. I can only pray and wish and hope though. I cannot change a man.

For Mia's sake, I hope he can get it together for her, not for me. She is so precious, and deserves a father who will be there for not only her but for me. It's harder than I thought .. to be a single teenage mother. I have tremendous help from family, which I am grateful for, but still, there are things missing from the puzzle here.