On the bump tonight some played my PIP game. Posting a newborn picture and a recent one.
Here is Mia newborn, 1 day old to be exact.
So teeny tiny, with a ton of hair.
And this picture was taken tonight ...
Just insane how you can go from that to this. All within three months. Mia has always been an alert baby, even when she first entered the world. Everybody would comment on how alert she is. She smiles, she laughs, she tries to grab my nose and mouth. She holds rattles, and she is sitting up! 3 months and sitting up! When I hold both her hands she can stand up straight and steady!
She's like superhuman! Okay, not really but since I wanna be bias for a second, then yeah she is superhuman. Most babies learn how to sit up at 6 months, Mia pretty much has it down right now, but she started to sit up at 2 months and like 3 weeks. And I'm sure there are other babies who sat up really early too. It just amazes me because it's MY daughter, ya know?
I remember when I first got my BFP, I was in shock. I didn't believe it for the first two weeks. Complete awe. But now, jeez I could not picture my life without her. She helps me with everything, and keeps me going. She made me into the person I am today and I am so thankful, because no matter what anybody says, God gave me her at this time in my life for a reason.
But I am guilty of something. Something I can never forgive myself for. Probably something I will never confess to her when she is older. I will never forgive myself for letting Javier beat me as many times as he did while I was carrying her inside of me. I was so naive thinking it would never happen again. And I love Javier with all my heart, but I just can never forgive myself for that. Letting it go on so long just so I would not suffer a broken heart. I am a poor excuse sometimes.
But I love my baby with all my heart. And I wouldn't change one thing whatsoever. She is perfect to me.
I also have this idea I wanna share. I saw this little thing at Things Remembered. It looks like an envelope sorta. It says love on it with a stamp in the corner.
I wanna buy that, engrave "No one will understand the strength of love I have for you. After all, you're the only one who know what my heart sounds like from the inside." And write letters to her in there. Not like a letter everyday, but every once in a while. I wanna keep writing till she gets older, and on her wedding day I wanna give her that as a gift from me. Corny, but whatever.