Monday, October 5, 2009

Happy Birthday.

October 5, 2009 - It would of been Brent's birthday. I think he would of been 30? Not sure. It's kind of hard sitting here even thinking about how my aunt Wendy must feel today, knowing Brent passed before her. 

Isn't there a rule? You always go before your children. I guess that couldn't be the case for her.

With Brent's death not too long ago & me bringing life into this world any day now kind of makes me feel, guilty. And I'm not exactly sure how to explain the feeling of guilt I have for it. Because maybe it's just me feeling sorry about my cousin dying while I'm preparing to bring somebody into the world, while he left. 

Last night my dad and I were sitting at the table, and he mentions "It's Brent's birthday tomorrow." I already knew though.  Then he goes on, "If you have the baby tomorrow you HAVE to name her Brentia," with a smile on his face. I laughed ... like that is even a real name. I said "Well, what if she came out to be a boy by surprise, that would be weirddd. I would feel like Brent was reborn into my baby." He started to laugh saying that I would then have to name him Brent.

My dad was set on me going into labor last night. I kind of had my heart set on it too, so I was disappointed this morning when I woke up still pregnant. I was praying that the full moon would have sprinkled some labor dust on me. Guess not.

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