I do not regret anything from my past.
I can openly talk about my past to people, because I realize that my past is my testimony to the Lord. What doesn't break me can only make me. And with what happened in my past, it has definitely made me the person I am today.
I realize that I have made my choices in life, but what is so wonderful about the Lord is that no matter what I did, whether it was smoking weed, premarital sex, or killing somebody (just an FYI, I never killed anybody) God will accept me if I repent to his word.
God doesn't pay attention what is going on in your head. He does not judge you on what you're thinking. He looks at what is inside of your heart. I am no where near perfect, and even though I strive to be like a Christ-like figure I am not. But I try, every single day to do the right thing even if it is so hard.
Tonight after my pathway class, some people just gathered around to chat, I was one of them. I saw some new faces tonight. So as I stood with my dear friend Tami as she talked to another woman there, she was talking briefly how her son's father is battling addictions. As we all walked away I mentioned something about how Javier battled addictions (even though Javier didn't really act upon quitting at the time, but he was addicted to weed.) She asked if I was still with him, and I said No, unfortunately he beat me while pregnant and I finally decided to leave him one day. She looked at me and said 'Will you please talk to my friend here tonight?"
Her friend came over and we got to talking. I told her what I had gone through. Now her friend is a lot older than me, 28 I believe she said. And as she looked at my teary eyed, she told me that she just got staples out of her head because of her boyfriend who is now in jail.
It's just amazing how God knows when and where to place certain people. With me coming out of that place a year ago and her just coming out of it since last week. He knew that I needed to talk to her, that is why I stayed so long after class.
What happened in my past is horrible, and nobody should ever have to go through that. But reality is that people do go through it, they are going through it right now. And if I have to tell everybody in the world what happened to me and explain that it's hard but you will and can get through it with the Lord's help, than I am happy because tonight I helped one girl open up her eyes just a little bit more.
If this is my reason to be here today, than I am thankful that I have already helped one person. And I will continue to help more people as time passes.