Random Wednesday.

Excuse my tired eyes as I went to bed late last night and woke up early. I don't understand but I can be draggin' ass all day long and still stay awake till 2am. It drives me bonkers. I just want to sleep but can never fall asleep. So here I am tired and drained, did I mention I have work in like an hour? Yeah it's going to be a fun night.

So two big days are coming up in the next two weeks. July 11th - Mia's Dedication. & July 14th - My Graduation. I am so excited! After each event nothing huge is going on afterwards, but probably just something simple back at my house. Either way I am psyched!

We are cute. Haha, remember how I talked a little bit about Birthday planning last post? Yes well, my photographer aka Alex my cousin did them for me finally! The above pictures were just playing around before the real fun began!

I decided to only post the pictures from just playing around on my Facebook, only because I want the 'real photo shoot' pictures to be a surprise to everybody once they get their invites. After I send out the invitations, I shall post every picture on Facebook.

Though my cousin is not a professional photographer, she does have a nice camera and some skills with it, also has a picture editor. So I asked her just to snap a few shots for me. But a few pictures turned into like 50, and I had a hard time choosing cause they all came out amazing. So out of all these amazing pictures I had to choose from, I could only choose three. Wanna see the final results? Sure ya do.

Uno.

Dos.

Tres.

I also decided that Mia will wear her tutu for her birthday party as well. I will be ordering her a T-shirt off of etsy somewhere. And She will wear the shirt, the tutu, and some leggings. I'm excited.

One last thing, I need your opinions. For Party favors, I am going to try something different. I have been cleaning and saving Mia's baby food jars. I have ordered and received 'address size' labels saying "Thank you for joining the fun now that Mia is 1!" on them. I also ordered 'cake decorative toppers' but instead of them being used for that, I bought ribbon and plan to tie it around the jar, hole punch the toppers and tie it around the jar also. The topper has Mia's face on it, and on the other side a crown (so cute!)

So this is where I need you ladies - What should I do with the Jar?

1. Put sand in the jar with a tealight

2. Tiny rocks in the jar, different colors

3. Put soil in the jar and have seeds tied along with the ribbon also.

4. Amanda you should do this with the jar (your idea here)

Oh Yes Hi ...

This is Amanda from Citizen's Bank, I am looking to speak with (Your name here).

Okay so yes, if you don't understand the above text let me explain - I HAVE A NEW JOB! I am no longer employed at Dunkin Donuts, your girl right here is now in the Corporate World. It sounded a wee bit scary at first but my job is too easy for what I get paid for.

Basically, I am a customer service agent (I sound cool) and what I do is - If you either bank with Citizens Bank or Charter One Bank (They are from the same company so I call either customers) I will give you a call for either a 30 second, 2 minute, or 5 minute survey. So easy.

I have my own desk with my own computer, it is really nice. I am getting paid $12.01 an hour, which is not a whole lot of money, but I believe I am one of many few 18 year old who are getting paid this much for what I do. Everybody else I know either has no job or is making $7.40 an hour.

Please Pay Attention To This:

If I happen to call your house please just take my friggin survey. (Because on top of making 12.01 an hour, I also get incentive checks at the end of the month if I make goal! Which will help so much!)

1. Do not interrupt me when I am giving the questions & options (I know it is annoying, especially if you know your answer already but to "validate my survey' I MUST read all the options. I know it's stupid. But my calls are recorded and scored. I will be screwed if I just skip through those parts.)

2. Do not yell at me because you hate the bank - I cannot change the bank, take the damn survey, state your problem and be on with your life.

3. NEVER hang up on me. - Because I know your address and I will steal your beautiful babies ;) Just kidding.

4. Please do not agree to take the survey and then in the middle of it decide it's all of a sudden a bad time to complete it - that is like giving your husband blue balls.

5. And if it is a truly bad time - I'm sorry, no need to freak out of me. We can call back another time

____________________________________________________________________

So other than the fact that I have a new job - Life is good.

My pool is finally open so Mia can go swimming everyday! She really loves the water, just like myself. I could be in the water all day. Unfortunately, I have already caught a sunburn, while Mia has caught a tan. Oh how I envy her olive skin she got from her father and that nice boricua culture!

Cute right? come on don't deny it. I apologize for the second picture - Mia had a nip slip. And I know that most people are not okay with the idea with an infant/baby in a bikini - but save your comments. I think Mia looks cute in it. Nothing is wrong with one pieces, I love them all just as much Mia even have a one piece, but this is just my favorite! I love her little ruffle butt in them!

I am also in the process of planning Mia's Birthday Party - which is stressful and exciting. There are so many things to consider, it's crazy. Or maybe I am the crazy one because I am trying to be Ms. Perfect party planner over here.

This is what is done:

1. Buy tutu & headband for pictures on invitation (arrived yesterday!)

2. Find a photographer -My cousin!

3. Make guest list

4. Pick out which etsy seller will make my cards

5. Ordered 'Thank you Labels' & Decorative circles!

6. Made a rough draft of the Menu!

So I have been pretty busy! And now I should get going.

 Peace out girl scout.

Rainy nights with nothing to do.

Another rainy night and absolutely nothing to do. Although I could be sleeping, but who wants to sleep?

So my last post was a story about a stupid boy as we all know by the name of Rico Suave (Ha!) Anyways, when he told me that it looks like I've been gaining weight, I laughed it off. Only later on, it really got me thinking. I sat in the mirror for about 25 minutes just looking, and touching my muffin top and my love handles, which is pretty pathetic. So I've concluded that every time I want to eat 5 cookies, I'll only eat 2. :(

I wouldn't call myself 'fat' because in all honesty I'm not 'fat' ... ya know I just have some extra meat. Who doesn't love that?

And no offense to the supermodel skinny girls who read my blog, but America has this vision of the perfect girl having to look like a twig with tennis balls for boobs. I'm just natural, a natural beauty with a 'real' body and huge boobies? Either way I am natural.

But lately I have been feeling 'off' with myself. I've been so tried, like forreal, all i want to do is sleep. I'm not sure if this is depression creepin' back up in my life or what, but whatever it is it needs to go away. My best friend and her boyfriend just had a baby not too long ago. They're both my age (18) and her boyfriend is the only one who is working. They told me they are getting an apartment soon (which I am so happy for them) but it made me take a step back and look at where I'm at:

1. Enrolled into college for this fall.
2. Quit HS, but got my GED ... WITH honors ;)
3. Started my new job at Citizen's bank (I'll talk about this job soon)
4. Living with my mother rent free
5. This should be my first, but I am INVOLVED in church. And in love with the Lord.

Which is okay I guess. But when I heard they could afford to move out on their own, I got jealous almost. I basically felt like I failed as a person, as a mother, because 1. I cannot afford my own place and 2. I am a single mother.

I thought about this for days straight .... failing my duties as a person and a mother and this whole stupid weight comment Rico Suave made the other night. So I talked to another friend about how I was feeling, and she reminded me of something - God & his plan for me.

Yes, God's plan especially designed for ME. I was so caught up in worrying about the way I looked or how I potentially failed at life because I can't move out of my mom's house yet. It was just objects of Satan trying to distract me from the real thing here - which is God's plan. Now I'm not sure what his plan is. But what I do know is that I have done the best I can for myself and Mia so far. I am working and going to school. I am doing all the right things right now, so my own place is just going to have to wait. And within time a  blessing will come my way.....

Letting myself go ...

So let's talk about this picture ...

So this is my new default picture on facebook and myspace. Honestly, I freaking hate myspace now, the only reason I keep it is because of Javier's family. I could care less if I talk to Javier or not these days, which is a good thing I believe. But anyways, I love his family because they were good to me when I was living down there, and every once in a while I will get a message from them seeing how me and Mia are doing.

Sooo about the picture, yeah it's definitely not a great one of me that's for sure. I look wicked tired and apparently I look fat. Lmao.

Last time I talked to Javier was about 2 months almost 3 months ago maybe? I'm not exactly sure, but it's been a while. Our last conversation did not end on good terms because he is just thick headed. But anyways, the other night he tried to myspace chat me but I ignored it. Then last night he myspace chat me again by sending me some video of the song "Creep" by Radiohead? Not really my style in music, but I listened to it, but never replied back to him.

Then he kept messaging me and messaging me. "You don't wanna talk right? That's cool." Ignore. "Well I just wanted to let you know I was in the hospital cause I had h1n1 but I'm better now" Ignore. "I don't understand why even be friends on myspace if you're not gonna talk to me Amanda?" So I caved in and just replied back and asked him about the whole h1n1 thing. Blah blah blah.

Anyways, it took him forever to finally ask about Mia, probably 25 minutes into the conversation <--Loser. He told me he's going to church and that God loves him the way he is, so he is continuing to smoke weed. (I had to just keep my mouth shut there because whatever I told him about God and weed would just not process into his brain far enough that he would actually quit.) He's not working anymore, and waiting to go to school. Typical. And I'm sure once he starts school he will stop going. He is suppose to go for some medical field study in college, yet he dropped out of barbershop classes because they were ''too hard.''

Back to the picture showed above .... He randomly said to me 'Heyy, I saw your picture, and it looks like you're gaining weight, you're not taking care of yourself, that isn't good.' I laughed so hard when I read those words. Yes okay, I am not a skinny person, I wasn't even before I was pregnant I always had a little chub to me, plus I am very big chested - as you can see. But the funny thing is, my weight NOW is actually a tad bit less than from before I got pregnant. My body just looks totally different now. I defintely need to go to the gym and tone up those abs, but who is he to say i am letting myself go. Why don't you try to be a single mom, while working and preparing for school 24/7 and see how often you have time to go workout? Lmao

This post became more of a vent almost, but it was a good laugh for me. I think it's funny how he said that to me after sending me that video I mentioned before - The song basically is saying that "I" am perfect and an angel and ''he'' is a creep and weirdo?

Yes Javier, you are a weirdo. Lmao.

Wordless Wednesday.

-Okay just a few words, I never do Wordless Wednesdays but maybe I will start.

Don't you just look goofy pictures with the babes? I sure do. Lol